Scared and Confused
July 3rd, 2008 | by admin |I am 23 years old, and I have currently been seeing this man for a while and the other night we ended up having intercourse. We did use protection. However he called me the following day telling me that he has herpes. At first I was very mad, hurt, upset, confused, and felt betrayed. I really didn’t want to have anything to do with him and I basically said it was over. I did ask some questions such as how often does he break out (every couple months), is he on any medication for it (no), and if he was broken out when we had sex (no). I have not been tested yet, however I am doing it soon. I have read up on herpes and have gotten a lot of information about herpes that I never really knew.
I guess basically I don’t know if I want to be with him or not. There are lots of different reasons for why and why I don’t want to be with him.
Number 1, if he would have just told me that he had them, then I could have made the decision about having sex and we could have talked about it. I could have gotten a lot of information about it, but knowing that he lied to me like that is the hardest part, and not knowing if I can trust him again.
The second is that I feel if I do have herpes then I will see if it works with him, but now that is not fair, because I think the reason that I’m doing that is basically because if I do have herpes, then I’m thinking, “Uh, well I might as well,” which is definitely not fair to me or him. That would be like taking the easy way out.
Third, if I do not have herpes then I really don’t know if I want to continue the relationship. I really care about him, I miss him, and I think I was beginning to fall in love with him, he is a wonderful person, he makes me smile, laugh, and forget about all the worries of the world when I’m with him, but I do have lots of concerns for the future.
I am really concerned about having children. This might be selfish in a way, but for example I would prefer to have a vaginal delivery instead of a C-section. I want to be able to experience that feeling. I want to go through all of that to see a beautiful baby coming into this world naturally. I know a lot of this is later in life, but I do now have to consider these options that I never thought I would have to.
